It was December 30, and just two days after the big snow storm that blanketed the entire Pacific Northwest. I found myself sitting quietly in front of my computer catching up on the never ending pile of work that lay waiting before me. In the midst of my work, I heard a loud noise coming from the street, looked up from my computer and saw a fire truck driving down the quiet little dead end  street and into the cul-de-sac at the end. At the time I didn't thing anything unusual about this, with the snow, flooding and downed power lines, I assumed that someone on the cul-de-sac had some kind of problem.  With one glance, my curiosity somewhat aroused, I ignored it.

It was when two of the fire department medic trucks drove down the street that I knew that there was much more going on than just a little disturbance. Getting up from my work, I asked my husband if he knew what was going on. He didn't. Uncharacteristically, I left the house, walked down the street and headed toward the cul-de-sac at the end.

When I reached the corner and saw the fire truck and the medic units parked in the middle of the snow covered circle of the cul-de-sac, I felt the need to go over to my neighbors, Larry and Janie's house, to make sure  that everything was all right. I turned back down the street, and towards their yard, heading to their back door, my typical entrance. I found myself overwhelmed with an urge to get there as fast as possible, finding myself running across their yard through a foot of virgin snow.

As I approached the back door of my neighbors house, the door swung open, my neighbor Janie in her robe, her eyes red and swollen. Her grandfather, to whom she is very close, lives with her. When I saw  the look on her face, the analytical part of my brain took over saying that something was the matter with Grandpa, or that Grandpa had passed.  As I drew nearer to the door, Janie uttered two words... "It's Larry". Running in and closing the door behind me, I gave Janie a giant hug, not knowing or even fathoming what we would be in store for.

Looking up after the long embrace, I could see in the middle of Janie's living room 6 paramedics all kneeling around Larry. There was one gentleman pump air into Larry's mouth and lungs, while another massaged and pumped on his chest. There was one man holding bags of saline solution that dripped slowly into Larry's veins. Another man regulated the air supply and cleaned out Larry's mouth and throat of fluids, while yet another manned the medical supplies, handing the required medications to the paramedics. The final gentleman, the one obviously in charge of the situation, knelt over an EKG machine where he checked and monitored Larry's vital statistics. He also manned the defibrillator, which is the machine that shocks the body, with the hope that a heartbeat will be started with the jolting an electrical current through the body. Digressing slightly, I found it interesting that the defibrillator was actually very quiet when it sends it's current through the body and that the body does not jump anywhere near as much as is depicted on TV.

After surveying the scene, I stood with Janie, my mouth held open in shock, unable to believe what I was seeing with my own two eyes. This man, who had just been to my home a couple of days before, was alive and healthy, now lay immobile on the floor. I felt helpless. 

It was funny, because it took me a good 5 minutes before I was able to remember that I was a healer and that I could try to help my friend by working on him energetically.

Putting on my psychic glasses, I again surveyed the room. The first thing that I noticed was that the paramedics were well grounded as they worked, while Janie, Grandpa and I, were in a state of shock, our spirits well out of our bodies. I noticed that the room was filled with the energy of non-permission, that is non-permission for us to assist the paramedics in any way. I saw that it was this energy that kept me from going right into healer mode from the very first moment. Once I saw or recognized this energy, I decided I was not in agreement to it. I grounded myself and called back my power. This allowed me to say hello to the energy and start moving forward and through it.

I then said hello, as spirit, to each of the men that were working on my friend. I wanted to step closer, to put my hands on his lifeless body, but the paramedics had created an energetic barrier around their workspace. I could respect their need for separation, and proceeded to work from my original location which was behind the counter in the kitchen.

As I continued observing the situation, with my body being a little bit more grounded and my psychic glasses on, I was amazed at what I saw. Well, to begin with, when I again looked over to where Larry's lay immobile on the floor, I saw Larry, as spirit, floating up and over his physical body. He had a soft golden color to him, which sparkled with electricity. Although it didn't look like my friend in the physical sense of the word, the energy did have a longish body-like shape to it, and hovered about 6-12 inches over his body.

My first reaction to seeing this was to try and put Larry back into his physical body. This is something that I will normally do during a healing session. So the idea of trying to put Larry back into his body did not seem far out to me at all. I tried pushing on his essence from across the room, trying to push him back into his body, but he would not budge. I tried to give him a grounding cord, and then tried pulling him back into his body by pulling on the cord. That didn't work either.

With the failing of those two tactics, I was becoming a bit frantic, doubting my own skills and abilities, wanting Larry to come back to life, take a deep breath, and sit up on the living room floor. I started talking to Larry, telling him that Janie was really upset and that we really weren't in agreement to him passing right at that moment. I continued trying to push him back into his body, telling him to get back in with each push.

I can laugh at it now, but as I continued trying to push him back in his body, I started arguing with him. When I looked to where I heard his voice coming from, it was then that I saw Larry standing behind me, in a spot that I had seen him stand many times before, his left hand resting on the kitchen counter, his back to the door. I watched him as he stood there by the back door, a look of determination and an ornery expression on his face saying, "G__ D___ it, I don't want to go back".

It was interesting, because I stopped. I stopped trying to push him back into his body. I stopped trying to convince him that he needed to come back. In life, I knew that once he had made up his mind, I would not be able to change it, so why would it be any different in death. I let him go.

When I looked back towards his body on the floor in the living room, I noticed that it had shifted.  Instead of his energy being in the long and humanoid shape just above his physical body, it had become more rounded, and a hole had formed in the center. I had never experienced this before and stood watching as this energy, his energy, started slowly moving out and across the room. I could feel the intensity of his life force energy growing larger and larger as the diameter of the circle increased.

As I watched his energy growing and expanding, it reminded me of a stone being dropped into still waters, vibrational rings forming, growing in ever larger concentric circles around the place where  the stone was initially dropped. I never thought of our own life force energy being dissipated back into the universe this way.

I also felt a heaviness, a denseness to the energy as it headed toward Janie and myself. I knew the denseness we were experiencing was Larry. I watched as his golden, electric like energy continued to expand through the room, waiting for it to engulf us in the place that we stood.

When his energy had expanded far enough to reach where we stood in the kitchen, I starting feeling faint. I wanted to share what I was experiencing with Janie, but felt that it was not the right time or the place to start with my hocus-pocus stuff by telling her that we were standing in the middle of Larry's energy and that he was saying good-bye. 

I have never before stood in this type of energy, which makes it a little hard to describe. It was a very different experience from being in a room filled with guides, angels or even departed family members.  The energy was much denser. It had a very distinct electrical charge to it. I received the impression, that this is the way we transform our energy from the denseness of our 3 dimensional existence, bringing it back into it's multidimensionality.  It is like we were going from a state of compression to a state of freedom. I felt blessed to have had the opportunity to feel the expansion of his energy.

Larry left the house. When his energy had passed through and by us, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was over. The paramedics worked on him unceasingly for about 45 minutes. They should be accommodated for the effort that they put in to trying to bring him back to life. I had never been in such close physical proximity to someone going through the death process. It was a very intense experience, but one that I will always remember. I thank Larry for the opportunity and for sharing his passing with me.

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