Positive
Energy: How To Build Vitality And Stop Energy Vampires From Draining You
by Judith Orloff, M.D.
Adapted from Positive Energy, Harmony Books, April, 2004
I learned to honor my energy needs the hard way. As a psychiatrist who
specializes in intuition I knew how important it was to listen to my body.
Yet still I’d vacillate between intense weeks of speaking tours to bouts
of utter exhaustion at home. I couldn’t turn down “irresistible”
opportunities. Here was my dilemma--I trusted my intuition, and was
committed to living by it. But I had a blind spot: Although I was quite
successful at helping others at trusting intuition and leading high energy
lives I was ignoring my own energy crises. Finally my fatigue was so
profound I had to change.
I know first hand how important it is for
us to cherish our precious energy so we don't compromise our capacity for
passion. I now believe that the most profound transformations can only
take place only on an energetic level. I’ve met many patients who’ve
spent much time and money on talk therapy hoping that intellectual
insights will bring emotional freedom, but they’re disappointed. As much
as I love the linear mind, my approach, which I call “Energy
Psychiatry,” goes further to also facilitate a conscious rebuilding of a
subtle energies, the most basic life force in each of us.
Do You Get Drained By Other People’s
Energy?
Our bodies are made of flesh and blood, but they’re also composed of
energy fields—though sadly I wasn’t taught this in medical school.
Each day we encounter a wide range of energies, both positive and
negative. Positive energy includes compassion, courage, forgiveness, and
faith. Negative energy includes fear, anger, hopelessness, and shame. We
need to be experts at dealing with energy so we don’t get demolished by
draining situations or people who’re energy vampires.
Like me you may be an intuitive empath,
someone who’s so sensitive to energy you pick it up but you’re also
drained by it. This goes way beyond feeling sympathy for a distraught
friend—we actually take on their pain either emotionally or physically.
To cope we take refuge in solitude. We empaths are so attuned to others
that we can feel what’s going on inside of them. This can put us on
energy overload and aggravate everything from chronic fatigue to
overeating.
Growing up, my girlfriends couldn't wait to
hit the malls, but I dreaded them. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted
around crowds, though I was clueless why. "What's the matter?"
friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that
crowded places and I just didn't mix. I'd go there feeling fine but leave
nervous, depressed, or with some new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a
gigantic sponge, absorbing the energy of people around me.
Thank goodness, as my intuition matured, I
realized I had intuitive empathy. Once I learned to protect my energy,
empathy has become a gift enhancing my compassion. Here’s how empathy
works: the more people per square foot, the more our energy fields
intersect--thus the tendency to become overloaded in high-density areas.
This aspect of intuition is the most neglected.
Empaths, unintentionally, can make even a
good doctor's life hell. They manifest so many "unexplained"
symptoms, that frustrated physicians write them off as hypochondriacs.
Empaths are notoriously misdiagnosed. Patients have come to me with
obesity who’ve failed diets because they needed strategies other than
eating to protect themselves from negative energy. Others were labeled
"agoraphobic" or with "panic disorder," having
received only minor relief from traditional treatments. Some were nearly
house-bound. They'd all say, "I dislike crowded places where
there’s no quick escape. Forget department stores, busy streets,
elevators, tunnels. I just avoid them." Sounded very familiar. So I
decided to take a history of how these people processed subtle energy in
the world, something all health professionals must be trained to assess.
Voila! I found many were undiagnosed empaths. For me, this changed
everything. My job as a physician then became teaching my patients to
center themselves and protect their energy.
A Survival Guide to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires.
You don’t have to be an empath to experience the fang marks of an energy
vampire, though empaths are often hit the hardest. Relationships are
always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask
ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It's important to be
surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and
secure. It's equally important to pinpoint the energy vampires, who,
whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.
Positive energy in others can be
rejuvenative. For instance, you're nervous about a job interview, but the
minute you meet your prospective boss you relax. He's so calm and
welcoming, you calm down too. Or perhaps you have a good friend around
whom you always feel loved. These are energy-givers, those we must
gravitate towards.
In contrast, energy vampires exude negative
energy that drains. Vampires range from the intentionally malicious ones
to those who are oblivious to their effect. Some are overbearing and
obnoxious; others are friendly and charming. For example, you're at a
party talking to a perfectly nice person, but suddenly you're nauseous or
weak. Or how about the co-worker who drones on about how she broke up with
her boyfriend for the tenth time? Eventually, she feels better, but you're
spent. The bottom line is that on a subtle energy level these people suck
you dry.
There are many types of vampires to watch
out for. The main ones I stress in my book are the Drama Queen who wears
your out with her dramas; The Sob Sister, who whines all the time; The
Blamer, who cuts you down with criticism and The Go-For-The-Carotid type
who purposely cuts your down without any respect for your feelings. Keep
an eye out for these types so you’re aware of their methods, and stop
them from draining you.
Strategies for Dealing With Energy Vampires
1.Take an inventory of people in your life who give energy, and people who
drain. Specifically identify the energy vampires, and begin to evaluate
ones you'd like to limit contact with or eliminate. Plan at least one
complete afternoon with people who give off positive energy and avoid
drainers. Notice how this beneficially affects your physical and emotional
well-being.
2. Set Clear Boundaries. It’s crucial to
limit the time you spend discussing a vampire’s gripes. When approaching
her, remember: the difference between being a bitch and setting boundaries
is attitude. Instead of saying, “You’re selfish and self-obsessed, I
can’t take you anymore,” which a part of you likely feels, take a
breath and shift to your heart.
3. Meditate. Sitting in meditation is a
life-line to your center, to the earth, it will ground you when you’ve
been struck by a vampire. By calming the mind, you can re-align with your
essence. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Then gently extend your
awareness downward to strata, bedrock, minerals, and soil. From the base
of your spine begin to feel a continuity with the earth's core. Picture
having a long tail that roots in that center. Allow the earth's energy to
infuse your body and stabilize you. If you meditate for five minutes or an
hour this is sacred time.
4. Walk away. If you feel your energy being
zapped don't hesitate to politely excuse yourself from a killing
conversation. Move at least twenty feet from the person, outside the range
of his or her energy field. “I have to go to the bathroom” is a
foolproof line. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts
others. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone's feelings, I needlessly
endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so
loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and
still we don't budge for fear of offending? In a spot, physically removing
yourself is a sure quick solution.
5. Build an energy shield around you. When you’re with vampires you
can’t get away from visualize a protective shield of while light
surrounding every inch of you. This lets positive energy in, but keeps
negative energy out—particularly efficient for vampires at family
dinners or social events where you’re trapped.
I hope I’ve inspired you to be more
fierce about asserting your energy needs. Never put yourself down as being
“overly sensitive.” Sensitivity is an asset as long as you learn how
to protect yourself from negative vibes. Understanding how you react
energetically in the world is particularly important if you’re
chronically tired and want to build vitality. Knowledge is power. Meeting
your energy needs can balance mind, body, and spirit to create a vibrant
life.
SIDE BAR
How do you know if you’re an empath? What
are the signs?
Quiz: Are You an Intuitive Empath?
Ask yourself:
*Have you ever sat next to someone at a dinner who seems pleasant, but
suddenly you're nauseous, have a headache, or feel drained?
*Are you uncomfortable in crowds, even go out of your way to avoid them?
*Do you get easily over-stimulated by people or prefer being alone?
*When someone is in pain, do you start feeling it too ?
*Do I overeat around people I’m uncomfortable with?
If you've answered "yes" to one or more questions, it's likely
you have experienced intuitive empathy. Responding "yes" to
every question indicates empathy is draining your energy.
Dr. Orloff’s Tips for Keeping Your Positive Energy High
1.In crowds or stressful situations take a
few deep breaths to exhale negative energy from your body
2.Meditate daily to center yourself—visualize roots going through you
and planting firmly in the ground
3.Take daily baths or showers to wash off negative vibes. Water is a
potent purifier and can get rid of the slimiest of energies.
4.Burn sage in a room to purify left over negative vibes. Sage is an
ancient purifier. (Many of my patients who work in the entertainment
industry use this technique to clear the energy in the room after
back-to-back pitch meetings in their office.)
5. Eliminate energy vampires from your life
__________________
Judith Orloff, MD is a
board-certified psychiatrist and a medical intuitive. This article is
adapted from her newest book, Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary
Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear into Vibrance,
Strength, and Love (Harmony Books, 2004). She’s also written the
bestsellers Guide to Intuitive Healing and Second Sight. Dr.
Orloff is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and an
international workshop leader. For more information on Dr. Orloff’s
workshops and national book tour schedule visit www.drjudithorloff.com.