Soul Contracts You Want to Release and How to Start Doing It
Soul Contracts can be wonderful, loving
connections between people that help create growth, transformation, and
even access to unconditional love. (Laaaaa! Can you hear the birds
tweeting and the harps playing?) People always want to know what the Soul
Contract is between themselves and their partner, brother, mother, best
friend… After all, once you know the Soul Contract, you’re on track to
creating a more successful relationship.
Unfortunately, Soul Contracts can also act
as painful blocks that stop people from being able to achieve their
dreams, have a wonderful marriage, find a best friend, or even become
successful in business. When a Soul Contract is blocking the way, it is
disheartening – and always confusing. I’ve met many a person who has
tried every “thing” they could think of to find their “true love”
or to make their business a great success – and yet, nothing worked. In
situations like this, it’s often a Soul Contract that is standing in the
Below, I’ve listed five common Soul
Contracts that people often don’t realize they have. Perhaps you
recognize some of these within yourself? Perhaps it’s time to take some
action (I’ll show you how to do that as well!).
5. Soul Contract of Martyrdom
Do you find that it’s a lot easier to say “yes” than it is to say
“no”? Do you put your own needs or desires aside to help other people
(or animals!) – even when it is really inconvenient to you? Do you feel
like you’re a good person or a better person if you sacrifice your own
needs in some way to make someone else happy? If you answered yes to any
of these, you are probably a) feeling pretty frustrated with your life, b)
feeling that other people don’t appreciate you, or c)
feeling tired and drained.
You probably also feel that being
called “selfish” is the worst type of insult, and you most likely make
decisions constructed to ensure that no one can ever apply that label to
you. This is how the Martyrdom Soul Contract often manifests… and it’s
not pretty. Once you’ve broken this soul-level agreement, it won’t
mean you’ll never help another person. Rather, it will allow you to make
better decisions about who to help and when – and also about how to
continue to take care of yourself while giving to others. A much more
balanced way to live for sure!
4. Soul Contract of Loyalty
Do you stand by your friend, lover, parent, boss etc. no matter what they
do or how they treat you? Have you ever heard yourself saying “yes,
she’s pretty mean but family is family” or “I have no choice, he’s
my boss”? The Loyalty Soul Contract will often help a person create a
situation in which they are walked all over by those they love and where a
person feels helpless or trapped when considering changing or leaving the
relationship because they don’t want to abandon the other person.
When a Soul Contract of this nature is
finally released, you’ll be able to make changes in your relationships
(personal or professional) even if those changes are something you’ve
struggled with for years, such as leaving your husband or quitting your
job. The “hold” that those people have over you will be gone!
3. Soul Contract of Loneliness
Have you been looking for your Soul-Mate throughout your life only to have
one relationship after another result in failure, dis-ease, sadness and
heartbreak? Have you tried blind dates, online dating, or settling for
someone who isn’t “it”? While there are many different contracts
that could be standing in the way of finding love, the Soul Contract
of Loneliness can be one of the most difficult to handle. When your soul
is adhering to this type of agreement, even when you’ve found someone
wonderful – you still feel alone, separate and unsupported. Release this
contract and you’re finally able to “feel” the support and love
that is out there – whereas WITH this contract, it’s like it doesn’t
exist (even though it often already does).
2. Soul Contract of Anxiety
If you are someone who always feels anxious, nervous or worried – your
soul might be holding you to this type of contract. Do you wait for the
other shoe to drop? When money is coming in, do you count the days until
“you know” it will go out again? When one of your worries alleviates,
do you quickly replace it with another thing to worry about? You may be
thinking this is normal human nature, but it isn’t! In many cases,
it’s a contract that you took out some time in a past life that your
soul still believes is valid.
Why would you ever make such a commitment?
Perhaps you felt that if you wrapped yourself in a blanket of anxiety, it
would heighten your awareness so that nothing could ever get by you and
surprise or hurt you again? (I’ve found with my clients that this is a
common reason!) Filtering life through a blanket of anxiety is not
fun for you (obviously) or for the people around you. When you release
this commitment, you’ll find that you are more able to be in touch with
your intuition (anxiety blocks us from our intuition) so you are more
easily and naturally kept up to date by your own gut on what is coming
down the pike for you. A much more enjoyable way to stay aware for sure!
1. Soul Contract: Rocking the Boat
Are you someone who is afraid to be seen as marching to your own drummer?
Someone who doesn’t break rules or rock the boat? Someone who might not
even want others to know you’re reading this website? This is a very
common agreement that we humans tend to commit ourselves to as a way of
protection. By standing in the background and blending in, you run less
risk of being ostracized, penalized or pointed out. While this might have
seemed like a good idea during a past life when you were still reeling
from being made fun of for something that you did, the current reality
means that it will become difficult to build a business, become an expert,
write a book and more because you must stand out in order to do these
When you release this Soul Contract
from your life, things really begin to open up. So much of what each
person has come here to do is dependent on being able to blaze your own
path. When you finally let go of this soul-level agreement, it’s like
“ta-da!” -- the lights turn on, your work is highlighted and things
How to Get Started Releasing &
Clearing These Contracts
So what do you do if you realize that perhaps you’ve been unknowingly
running up against a Soul Contract that you no longer want? How can you
First, you have to realize that you can’t
just break ANY Soul Contract that you want. It doesn’t work that way.
You first must do the work to understand how this agreement has both
served and hindered you. It’s like your understanding is loosening the
tooth so that it can be pulled.
Your second step is awareness. Spend time
witnessing the Soul Contract and understanding how it’s been rearing its
ugly head in your life. For example, if martyrdom is the issue, take a few
weeks to notice when you’re giving up your own needs for those of
another person. You’ll start to see patterns in your behavior; and as
they emerge, it will become easier and easier for you recognize those
times when you tend to sacrifice for others. This takes some time, so
don’t expect to get it perfectly right away.
After you’ve mastered the awareness
portion, a new piece will emerge: the awareness of the contract will bring
about a moment of clarity. If you normally say
“Yes! I’ll take your Grandma to the grocery store on Sunday so
you can stay in and watch football,” you’ll now find that there is a
small pause just before you give your answer. Within that pause you have
created an opportunity: “Do I want to follow the same pattern or do I
want to make a different decision this time?” Sometimes you will make
the same decision and you will see the same results – but the more aware
you are, the more you’ll be able to make a healthier choice.
Once you feel you’ve really got a handle
on this contract, you understand where it shows up and how it’s
affecting your life. After you’ve been working on making some different
decisions, you can speed up and deepen the release by writing about it
(automatic writing can be very effective!), addressing it in a therapy
session, or doing Soul Contract work with a trained professional on this subject.
There is no right or wrong decision
here, only what works. It’s a process – a process of realizing
the Soul Contract is there, becoming aware of the pattern and how it shows
up in your life, and then taking action steps to finally release it from
your life. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do as a human!
2012 Danielle MacKinnon
MacKinnon is a well-known animal
intuitive and intuitive coach, recently named one of Bob Olson's "Top
10 Best Psychic Mediums." Using soul contracts as a foundation, she
offers a fresh perspective on working and connecting deeply with pets,
developing intuition, and working with the soul. To learn more about
Danielle visit www.daniellemackinnon.com.
Olson's article about his reading