Steps To Improve Your Reading With A Psychic Medium
by Bob Olson
One: Keep an open mind.
The first thing you can
do is keep an open mind. Skepticism is healthy, but be an open-minded
skeptic. Closed-minded skeptics are merely debunkers. They are locked onto
to their skepticism and wear it like a badge of honor. They donít look
for evidence first and draw their conclusions second. They have already
made their conclusions and only look for evidence to back them up.
havenít created their image around being a skeptic. They are truth
seekers. They are open minded enough to recognize that they donít know
everything and humble enough to know they can be wrong. So they begin with
skepticism because they donít have reason to believe otherwise. But then
they investigate first, discover evidence second, and draw their
conclusions last. This is how I investigate the afterlife.
Two: Arrive for the
reading with a peaceful mind.
Itís recommended that
you meditate or, at least, relax for fifteen to twenty minutes before your
reading. If youíre mind is buzzing with all the things you need to do
that day, youíre not going to be focused enough to get the most out of
your reading. So itís important to unwind and think about your loved
ones in spirit.
You want to be relaxed in
order to think with a clear mind. Youíre going to be getting a lot of
messages thrown at you that youíll be asked to acknowledge. If youíre
not calm and clear-headed, you might miss some important messages.
Many people who get a
reading become filled with anxiety and canít think clearly when the
psychic or psychic medium gives them a message. This is called Psychic
Amnesia because all of a sudden you forget your own childís name. I once
had a reading where the psychic medium kept giving me the initials L. P.
and I kept saying, ďNo, I donít know anyone with those initials.Ē
Yet, a couple months prior, my wifeís former boss (and a friend of my
family) had passed. His name, of course, was Leonard Paul and everyone
called him L. P. He was coming though in the reading and I was clueless,
which could have likely been avoided if I had relaxed my mind and body
before the reading.
Three: Ask your loved
ones in spirit to come through in the reading.
Once you have sat quietly
for a few minutes, it can be helpful to talk or pray to your departed
loved ones, inviting them to the reading. Tell them how grateful youíll
be if they come for the reading and let them know what messages youíd
most like to hear.
Itís not recommended
that you make deals with your loved ones in spirit. Donít say, ďIf you
can get the psychic medium to say Jellystone Park, then Iíll believe.Ē
The medium will convey whatever important messages need to come through.
Itís difficult enough for our loved ones in spirit to communicate with a
human being (psychic medium), donít add to that pressure by putting
requirements on them, too.
Iíve been to many
psychic medium demonstrations where people get readings from a psychic
medium on stage. Quite often the audience members who get readings at
these events say that they talked with their loved ones in spirit on the
drive to the venue and asked them to connect with the medium. By making
the connection with their deceased loved ones before the medium
demonstration, they helped the psychic medium connect with these spirits
during the event.
Four: Donít feed the
Whenever I introduce a
psychic medium to an audience before a medium demonstration, I always give
the instruction, ďDonít feed the medium.Ē The audience always
laughs, but Iím not just being funny. What I really mean is that you
never want to feed the psychic medium information, because if you tell
them something about your loved one in spirit, then that psychic medium
canít give you that information herself.
I was once at a psychic
medium demonstration (a demonstration of spirit communication) when the
psychic medium went up to a person and said, ďI have a man in spirit
here who is wearing a fire fighterís uniform.Ē
The audience member then
blurted out, ďThatís my uncle Bill who was a fireman and died on the
job fighting a fire.Ē
Thatís feeding the
medium. Now that psychic medium was not able to provide Billís name to
that person, nor could he identify Billís cause of death (dying on the
job fighting a fire)ótwo key pieces of evidence in any reading.
Five: Only answer
questions with yes, no or maybe.
Psychics and psychic
mediums should not be asking you any question beyond ďDo you
understand?Ē In which case, you can answer, ďYes, I understand,Ē or
ďNo, I donít understand,Ē or ďMaybe, I might understand but I need
more information.Ē Unfortunately, many psychics and psychic mediums do
ask questions because they havenít been trained properly or theyíve
gotten lazy over the years.
In terms of the latter
(laziness), itís a lot easier to ask ďWho died of cancer?Ē than it
is to tell you that information. But the best psychic mediums will tell
you, ďI have someone in spirit here who died of cancer. It was lung
cancer. Itís a male, probably in his 60s when he died, and heís
telling me he passed quickly after being diagnosed. Iím getting a J
name; it sounds like Joe or Joseph.Ē And the reading will go from there.
Do you see how much
better that is than if the psychic medium asks you ďWho died of
cancer?Ē and then you give the answer? It can be the difference between
a mediocre reading and an extraordinary reading.
So what do you do if the
psychic or psychic medium asks you a question? Simply tell her that
youíll get a lot more out of the reading if she doesnít ask you any
questions other than ďDo you understand?Ē Tell her that youíd rather
she told you that information instead of you giving it to her. The best
mediums will understand and do their best to stop asking questions. They
might need a reminder now and then, but let them catch themselves and
learn to rephrase their question into a statement. Rather than ďWho died
of cancer?Ē they can say, ďI have someone in spirit here who has died
of cancer.Ē And you can say, ďI understand.Ē
Six: Donít mix your
Never show up for a
reading in person or by phone under the influence of alcohol or drugs. For
one, youíre not going to be able to think quickly in order to process
the messages youíre getting from the psychic or psychic medium. The
psychic medium might be giving you a message about a distant relative who
died years prior and you wonít have the clarity of mind to sort through
your memories to know if the message is accurate. Two, youíre not going
to remember half the messages that come through in order to benefit from
the reading later. And three, youíre much more likely to feed the medium
when your intoxicated. There have been many clients who have paid for a
reading only to talk the psychic mediumís ear off instead of listening
to the messages. Thatís a waste of your money and itís inappropriate
The truth is that your
mental state doesnít just affect you. It affects the psychic or psychic
medium, too. If alcohol or drugs have altered your energy, the psychic or
psychic medium is going to feel it. So show up to your reading with a
clear mind and your reading will be better.
A woman I know told me
that she called a psychic medium to make an appointment. The psychic
medium answered the phone and told this woman that her mother in spirit
had already showed up and was giving him messages. However, he didnít
have time for the reading at that moment, so they made an appointment for
the next day.
That evening, the woman
was so nervous about communicating with her deceased mother that she drank
an entire bottle of wine. The next morning, when she had her appointment,
the psychic medium was perplexed as to why her mother was now coming
through muddled when she had come through so clear and strong the day
before. It turned out that the womanís hangover from drinking so much
wine the evening prior made it impossible for the psychic medium to give
If you mix your spirits
and are later unhappy with your reading, itís nobodyís fault but your
own. So for your sake, the psychic mediumís sake and your deceased loved
oneís sake, keep your spirits (your alcohol) and your spirits (your
loved ones in the afterlife) separate.
Even though many psychic
mediums will audio record your reading these days, there are no guarantees
that the recording will be successful. Believe it or not, technology is
known to fail occasionally (sarcasm). So always take notes with a pen and
paper during your reading. You donít need to write down every word that
they tell you. That can be nearly impossible considering how quickly some
psychics and psychic mediums talk. Therefore, just write down the key
words and phrases they say, or quote an entire sentence every once in a
while. Itíll be enough to recall most of what was said later when you
want to review the reading or share it with others.
Eight: Be honest with the
psychic medium in your feedback.
I once watched my friend
get a reading at a public psychic demonstration where the first half made
perfect sense (that is, all the messages were spot on), then something
took a turn and I knew the messages no longer pertained to him. Yet, for
some reason, he kept nodding his head as if he understood every message.
As a result, the psychic continued with the reading, assuming that it was
accurate based on my friendís nodding.
For the most part, we
human beings are a polite bunch, which is why many people who get readings
say yes (suggesting that they understand the message) when they really
should be saying no (that they have no idea what the message means).
If you are honest with
the psychic or psychic medium and tell him that the message does not
resonate with you, heíll be able to ask for more information to make the
message clearer. So, for example, if he tells you that a spirit is present
who died from a blow to the head, but this doesnít ring any bells for
you, just tell him the truth and heíll ask that spirit more questions.
He might find out that the blow to the head came as a result of a car
accident involving a drunk driver, which then might jog your memory.
An honest ďNo, I
donít understandĒ is not rude or mean. Itís helpful guidance for the
psychic medium. The medium wants you to get the most out of your reading,
so always be honest in your feedback.
Nine: Announce your
There are several reasons
why a psychic or psychic medium might have an off day. They might not be
feeling well. They might have just gotten some bad news. They might have
recently had an argument with their spouse or teenage son. After all,
psychics and psychic mediums are people, too. Thus, even the best give
readings that are less than satisfactory.
If youíre getting a
one-hour reading and realize ten or fifteen minutes into the reading that
the psychic or psychic medium is way off (eighty to ninety percent of
their messages make no sense), itís your responsibility to tell them. Do
not wait until half the readingóor worse, the entire readingóis over
before informing them.
Psychics and psychic
mediums with high ethics and integrity will stop the reading if itís not
going well and offer to reschedule it for another day. But they wonít
know itís going poorly if you donít tell them. While I understand that
you want to the reading now, especially if you waited weeks or months for
the appointment, donít let a bad reading continue for that reason. Let
them reschedule it for a different day when they are in a better space for
connecting with universal energy (psychic) or spirit (psychic medium).
Too many clients let a
bad reading continue without saying anything and then expect a refund when
the reading is over. This isnít fair to the psychic or psychic medium,
and many wonít give you a refund. But if you let them know that the
reading is going bad and they, personally, choose to continue, you now
have every right to ask for a refund if the reading continued to be bad.
And most credible psychics and psychic mediums will give you a refund in
this situation or will offer you another reading.
Ten: Have realistic
Psychic mediums can
occasionally get names, but usually just first names. They will usually
give you dates, but they might only get the month and not the day. They
might also confuse a police uniform with a security uniform, or that
someone was a nurse rather than a nurse practitioner. In order to have
realistic expectations, keep in mind that these are the same
misinterpretations that we might make ourselves in everyday life. Do you
now the difference between an Army uniform and a Marine uniform, or a male
nurseís outfit and a medical technicianís outfit? The psychic medium
might not know the difference either.
expectations for your reading means understanding that the communication
between the psychic medium and your loved ones in spirit isnít perfectly
clear like a telephone or cable TV signal. If you recognize that the
connection is more like a fuzzy radio station, youíll understand why the
psychic medium says the name John instead of Sean, or Liz instead of Riz.
These are common mistakes that anyone could make.
also means accepting the extraordinary messages even if the psychic medium
got some messages wrong. My deceased father told me in my very first
reading that one of his proudest moments was watching me play a solo on my
saxophone in the middle school band concert. That was an extraordinary
message because it got four accurate messages: 1) that I played a solo in
the band concert (there were only two solos in the concert out of 100 band
members), 2) that I played in the middle school band, 3) that I played the
saxophone, and 4) that my father was in attendance, as he traveled a lot
There were other messages
in my first reading that were wrong. But it would have been unrealistic of
me to discard all the extraordinary hits like the saxophone solo message
just because the psychic medium had some misses, too.
Copyright © 2011 Bob
more articles by Bob Olson, visit www.ofspirit.com/bobolson.htm